Satire time….Why are condoms locked up? There is a $10 – $14 tube of eyeliner sitting on the shelf without a care in the world – but you want to have a little fun with the sweetie and you have to call customer service – who sends a pimple faced boy or girl to the personal care isle. And for what – so you can say “hey, do you know how well these hold up to pressure or extended use – yeahhhhh you probably don’t”, “which brand is better” or “Why are these so much more expensive than those”. Heaven forbid you want to read the label to really “know” your choice is right for you – its not like your Dr. is there recommending one over the other. Meanwhile Jr. is getting impatient and the initial flush of “this will be quick” going through his mind is quickly translated to audible heavy sighs – and you know he’s thinking “c’mon dude just pick one”. Okay, fast forward to the check out line – right behind the guy with probably 15 items and your thinking this will be quick. Drop the pack of those baby’s on the conveyor belt with the most important words on top “grande” and “10 pack”. What! The guy in front says “I forgot milk” and the precious barely above teenage checker says “oh go grab it” so off he goes to the dairy isle 800 feet away…and back. Meanwhile you and your single item, shiny package of future love are left alone to exchange awkward glances with said teenage checker. It all worked out – I paid for my groceries and the kid behind me left the store $15 lighter with a smile on his face and a grande ego! I know, all that fun just to ask “why are they locked up? Why aren’t they free like in bars and PPH 🙂 …I know, I have to much time on my hands.